What Actually Makes a Weekend Work
Why the weekends I designed for myself kept falling flat
A perfect weekend, the way I used to define it, was centered almost entirely around me.
I work hard. I need to recharge. I need to do what I want to do. It sounded reasonable, even responsible. It also left me strangely empty.
The more I designed my weekends around what I thought would recharge me, the less recharged I felt. Sunday night would arrive and instead of feeling rested, I felt foggy. Flat. Slightly behind before the week had even started.
The Weekend That Looked Right on Paper
One Sunday in particular stands out. There was a full slate. First PGA tournament of the year, the Sony Open. A couple of decent NHL games. Divisional round of the NFL playoffs and the Bears had a home playoff game at frigid Soldier Field. The fridge was stocked with Stellas. I was ready for what I would have previously called a great day.
In reality, I was nowhere to be found.
I was on the couch but not in the room. I was drifting between screens, pulling up the same articles on The Athletic over and over. I don’t have social media, but I may as well have that day. It was mindless, disconnected, and oddly hard to shake.
The quiet realization hit me. If I felt absent, my family felt it too. It was a small signal that my definition of “recharge” was broken. Then I started paying attention.
Paying Attention to the Data
My wife deserves credit here. She helped me learn to pay attention in a practical, observable way.
What do you see?
What do you hear?
How does this actually make you feel?
In sales, pattern recognition is second nature. At home, I was slower to connect the dots. But once I looked, the signals weren’t subtle. When we weren’t connecting, the house got sharp around the edges. We were quick to clap back. Not just the kids, all of us.
The irritability was the tell.
What Actually Fills the Tank
The surprise was what happened when we did the opposite. Nothing exotic or Instagram-worthy—just pool time, board games, and cooking with actual conversation.
I found something completely counterintuitive: When I focused outward, I felt more internally charged. The weekends where I poured into my family were the ones that carried momentum into Monday. The Monday dread vanished. The house felt lighter, like a small candle of positivity had been burning all day.
The Shift in Structure
We got intentional. The biggest shift was simple:
Saturday is for getting things done. We clear the deck: ballet, church ministry, grocery runs, pool filters, and yard work.
Sunday is for being together. We protect this posture. We stay in the same orbit even if we’re doing different things.
Board games have become a staple. My wife bought Scrabble, and I was confident I’d dominate on vocabulary alone. It turns out Scrabble is a pattern recognition game; she has roasted me so far. I pivoted to Trivial Pursuit. Same result.
We mix in Harry Potter on the Switch, pizza nights under the pergola, and long Sunday meals. Fewer hours disappearing into separate corners of the house.
The Discipline of Not Fast-Forwarding
The pull to rush is still there. If I have a big meeting or a trip, I feel the urge to “fast-forward” the present to get to what’s next. I start reaching for the phone. I get uncomfortable with stillness.
I think of the movie Click. Fast-forwarding through the “boring” parts until you realize you’ve missed your life.
I’m learning that when I try to force outcomes, everything speeds up in the wrong way. When I slow down and let things develop, the game settles.
Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.
The Leading Indicators
My default is 6,000 RPM. Restraint doesn’t come naturally.
I’m building a toolbox to regulate the drift: riding the Peloton, walking with my wife, or cooking something that requires care. These bring me back.
The old me would have doubled down on the wrong variables, assuming I just needed more “checking out.” Now, I look at the leading indicators instead.
The weekends that look the most relaxing on paper aren’t always the ones that restore you. Sometimes the energy you’re looking for shows up the fastest when you stop trying to keep it all for yourself.
Next up is digging deeper on the hidden driver behind much of this and one that I’ve struggled with my entire life.
Patience.
- Stephen